What Single Men Want in Relationships – What A Dating Expert wants WOMEN to Know! 21 Sep 2017
Single women, you may think you know what single men are looking for when it comes to committing to relationships – As a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert, I have been honored by Single Gentlemen being open and vulnerable about what they really want. I believe if you have some insight to what goes on inside a gentleman’s mind, you can better relate to them and be more successful in having relationships with them.
- Looks – Physical Appearance – Men do NOT come into their personal interviews with pictures of celebrities! They are attracted to ALL types of women and all kinds of appearances. Men are so more accepting of women and their looks, often than ladies are. Men want a lady to be sexy, and NOT in just a physical sense. A lady can inspire a man to be attracted to her and find her sexy because she is strong, confident, funny, has a lot going on in her life. He is wanting her to be attractive to him, and singles are looking for what they offer in the looks department. Extremely fit men, want extremely fit women, — fashion forward men are attracted to women with style. The average man is looking for the average beauty. Chemistry is something that is felt, gentlemen can meet an extremely attractive woman and may not be attracted to her at all, this is where you know that the “Soul Knows”…..as humans we are not meant to have everything figured out with attraction. It is best to always go in looking for the best in the opposite sex.
- Positive Attitudes – The opposite sex is NOT there to make anyone happy. Being happy, positive and up beat is a learned behavior. It is important to truly look at yourself and the attitude you have. Everyone can have bad days, and yet that does not mean you need to add your negative feelings to everyone you come in contact with that day. It is not fun for the opposite sex to be feeling great and looking forward to seeing you, and then you unload everything negative without knowing where their head space is and how they are feeling. Sitting back and allowing positive to come before negative may be all you need to shake it off. Learn to listen and assess before you unload negativity on people.
- Loving, Caring, Supportive – If you think about adults as being grown up children, it may give you a little more insight to why people respond to loving, caring and supportive behavior. It makes people feel safe, everyone wants to know that they are special and lovable. This does not make you a push over, your words and actions will ensure that someone can trust you and that your nature is loving and caring to everyone. There is no one who wants to hear unloving, uncaring or insensitive words about others. Make it your number one goal to speak highly of all or say nothing! The opposite sex will know you are a woman of character and this will reinforce that he can trust you to be loving and caring towards him.
- Great Sense of Humor – Men can laugh at the rudest or crudest things, the can have a dry sense of humor – Men feel like they can have their own kind of sense of humor with their peers. Men do NOT want you to have the same sense of humor as them, the most important thing for men to know is that you can be relaxed, not take everything so seriously, not be uptight, or rigid and if things are going wrong, men LOVE that you can see the humor in that. If a man gets carried away, it is okay to scold in a loving way, not a judgemental and uptight way. There is a saying of “Always look at the bright side of life !! ” Dating is the best place to have flexibility, when you can get to know someone better, you can always relate to their humor more easily. Look at family, there are members you know that others may judge their personality and humor, because you know they have a great heart, you can be more understanding – always give someone the benefit of the doubt.
- Individuality – It is so important ladies that you do NOT try and be who you think this gentleman wants you to be. be YOURSELF — be unique, be quirky, be different — just be happy and have fun with it. Men want to know they can relax and be themselves with you, by showing them your relaxed and authentic self it will set the tone of the date.
- Pride in Appearance – Men are so excited when they meet ladies who take amazing care of themselves. They love that women are different, they love curves, nail polish, fuzzy sweaters, femininity and the right amount of fragrance. Looks and pride in appearance are import to men and women when it come to finding relationships. If the opposite sex is not attracted to you — there is no chance of a second date. Very few men are expecting a supermodel, your confidence and him seeing the best version of you is what is appealing to men. Men love to feel like the luckiest man in the room.
- Down to Earth – Men love a woman who can dress up and turn every man’s head in the room and they LOVE IT when you can put on a ball cap, a t-shirt and jeans when you are just popping out for a quick coffee. High maintenance is a turn off to men. I would always consider how much time you spend putting on make up or getting ready each day. When you fall in love, this man will absolutely be seeing you, the real natural you, sooner or later it all comes off! Men are always looking for the girl next door or someone who can appear sporty at times. the trick is to feel good about yourself no matter what style you are rocking..
- Open up your wallet – When men are courting you, I believe that they should be buying you coffee and drinks and dinner. What men get turned off by, is when it is expected all the time. Men want to treat you special, and for long term relationships – men want to know there will be some give and take. The least you can do for a gentleman is offer to pay, offer to cook or do something special because they have been doing a lot when it come to pursuing you. Men do feel special when a woman goes out of her way to cook for him, it makes them feel nurtured. There is an old saying – that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and it is true.
- Strength – A man wants to know that you have ideas, opinions and that you do not have to be on the same page about everything. A man will open up his heart to you if he feels you have the strength for it, if he feels you can be there for him. Strength is also a way to challenge the opposite sex, and no one likes a push over. It is so ironic that often men are hiding their weakness and women are trying to hide their strength when it comes to dating. Just be you, your family raised an independent woman so that she would have the tools to be a great partner in a loving long term relationship.
- Sensuality – Men need to know there will be a passionate and loving side to a relationship, you do not need to talk about you past and how you were romantically with others – NO!! You do not need to have sex on the third date. You do need to let the man know he is very sexually appealing to you. He needs to know that you are interested in him physically, have a light heart and sense of humor about it, let him know he does rock your world! As a Professional Matchmaker, I have heard way too many times that the woman was interested in the man and he never knew and then there are never more dates. A Man does not want his Matchmaker to call him up and say….”she really does like you ” – he wants to feel and know it.
- Spontaneity – It is important to be regimented for work and advancing in life, when it comes to love — it is always best to step out of your comfort zone and go with the flow. Men are more flexible and can go more spur of the moment, try to be flexible! If a man is going to the pub with friends unexpectedly, he would love that you would join him in a heartbeat. If he gets a great idea, he would love your enthusiasm not an excuse of why you are not on board.
- NO CONSTANT COMPLAINERS – do I need to even expand why?
When it comes to dating and falling in love, you need to be yourself. Your friends and family may not point out some bad habits you may have accumulated over the years. No one is perfect, no man is expecting perfect. The best advice is be the most beautiful, happy, secure, sensual and positive you. A Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert has heard too much about how things could have been from single men in Calgary and Edmonton, it is best to put some thought into what you can bring into a relationship as well.