Single Men Reveal – “What Made Her the ONE” 08 Oct 2017
After two and a half decades in the Matchmaking Industry, it has been a hands on experience to learning about Single Men and Single Women in Calgary and Edmonton and what singles go through when trying to find “The ONE ” to share all of life’s ups and downs with. No two singles are the same, and their experiences are unique as well. After hearing from my single women that they wanted know how to take a relationship from dating to “the ONE” – I had to ask my single men what made them know without question that they had found the right single woman to share their lives with. We know that relationships start with chemistry and attraction, and then there is the honeymoon phase and the next step is truly knowing if the single woman you are dating is either “the ONE” or someone you are sharing time with until life forces you to decide to move on.
This is what my single men have shared about what makes a woman “the One”
- She is happy, encouraging and supportive of my goals and career and most importantly she doe not try to micromanage my personal life. She is a cheerleader and not the coach. She has the trust in me that I will make the right choices in my own life and does not interfere.
- She is a woman of integrity. There has been no games. She does not try to make me jealous and most of all she is secure in her self worth and recognizes her value in her place in the world.
- She does not have a princess complex. She commands respect and love just because she is a woman, not because she is magically entitled to something.
- She is independent while being part of a couple. She has a part of her life that does NOT involve me – she has friends, hobbies, passions, career, future goals and confidence.
- As a man, with his own life – she is the one I would never think twice about not inviting her into all my different parts of my life like work functions, dinners with parents or family or with any of my friendships. She knows how to handle herself in different situations. She is mature, confident, she makes a great impression with the people you know and she is wise enough to know that “letting loose” from time to time is part of having fun and not immature.
- She takes care of herself, physically, mentally and emotionally. It does not mean she has to be perfect, it means she is always improving, growing. She is self aware and motivated with her life. She is my partner – I am not her Dad.
- When we are at a function where she does not know everyone – she smiles, introduces herself and can relax. She is not clinging or pouting about the situation. She can facilitate any situation.
- Employers can looks at her social media presence and hire her.
- She is interested and comfortable about intimacy. Our sex life is something we actually talk about and open up about in a healthy adult way.
- She has opinions, she is not a know it all and does not lose her it when we disagree.
- She never jokes about how men are childish, stupid or whatever….. if women are bashing men, she does not feel the need to engage. She honors me, just as I honor her.
- She knows what she wants out of life – she is not a chameleon who changes her values and goals.
- You feel lucky to have her in your life, she is dating you because she is attracted to you and knows that you will be each others’ advocate in life.
Men are self professed simple creatures who want to be cared for and loved. Everyone has a life and has wants the opportunity to make mistakes and grow from life experience. Nobody likes to be “told” what to do. If you are wanting to be “the One” – the last thing a men needs is to be told that you are, that usually leads to hurt feelings and arguments. As a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert, my advice is to be true to what is in the best and highest good for both of you and be willing to communicate what you want with your partner and NOT get everyone else’s opinions on it. If your relationship goals are not aligning, do not try to fit a square peg in a round hole. We all have heard about couples who invest years and years with each other, only to finally break up and the single man moves onto to get involved and engaged quickly to his next love interest. He had the clarity he needed to make the decision, do not take it personally – know there are more opportunities out there for you.