Second Date … Alright – Let’s Talk!! Dating Expert Insight 05 Oct 2017
Alright – so you have both decided on a SECOND DATE – If your first date was a total success, can the next date get better? If the first date was so-so, can date number two get better or worse? It is natural that you have many thoughts and emotions after over thinking your first date. My advice as a Professional Matchmaker, and Dating Expert is to breathe – just relax and KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS out of the equation. Single Men and Single Women of Calgary and Edmonton, you need to put one foot slowly in front of the other. The second date is the next step, it is the way to get to know each other and to start understanding if there is compatibility. It is your opportunity to reveal yourself, flirt, have fun and get to know your date. A second date is not a pre – marriage interview, it is not a relationship, confessional or time to have sex. A second date is just the next step, you can get to know each other better and see if your true personalities emerge. It is mainly just getting to know each other better.
Second dates are getting to know someone better, see if there is still chemistry and attraction and in order to peel the layers properly, you should plan your second date at a place where it has a chance to succeed. After two decades of interviewing thousands of single men and women in Calgary and Edmonton, I recommend quieter restaurants or cafes, a sporting event – as long as you can talk throughout the date, hiking, walk in park or patio date. Do not go to the movies, each other’s places, noisy bars or anybody’s parents house.
Second dates are about getting more personal information without interviewing, you can follow up with asking more questions about what you learned before from the 1st date, just getting more detail. It’s a good time to laugh, be playful and see what you have for shared interests and really getting to know the kind of person your date is. It IS the next step for intimacy – NOT sex……just a lot more eye contact, more flirting, more touch. When you see your date again, a kiss on the lips at the start of the date is OUT of the question, no proprietary touching — start slow, continue previous conversations with your date that started from your last date will let your date know you were not only listening, you remember your 1st date. You do not need to spend a bundle on your second date, but you do NOT want to look cheap. A great walk in nature, the River Valley or Fish Creek or any nature can b e as great as dinner at a five star restaurant or current hot spot. Second dates are the time are the time t get to know each other better. If you know everything about them, then it is time to open up about yourself. If your date has been nodding for an hour – time to stop sharing. If your date is an out of control comedy fest – it is time to take a breath and focus on getting to know them better. It is not a job interview, interrogation or judgement session.
Being A Professional Matchmaker, I have noticed that single men and single women dating can either be too trusting or too suspecting about there date and BOTH ARE BAD. Your date is just your date, they are NOT your friend yet. Share information and do not overshare. Just because someone in your past has done you wrong – you do not need to bring that information into your date and never try to figure out if your date is the same as your last relationship or put every man is just looking for sex and every women is a gold digger category. Remember the golden rule, treat someone as you would hope they would trust you.
Now – no matter how great the date goes, no matter how much sexual chemistry there is, no matter how long it has been since you have had intimacy….DO NOT JUMP INTO BED, it is way too early. Physical intimacy blurs emotional intimacy, you can make out passionately, that is fine – sex will only confuse the situation.
Single men and single woman of Calgary and Edmonton, there is nothing but time ahead of you. Do not rush anything. Rushing sex or rushing a relationship will consume your time with someone that may not be of the best interest for you, in the long run. Check in with your senses – what does you head, heart and gut instinct tell you. If you have a feeling about something that is NOT amazing , trust it and learn more about it. Every date is a stepping stone to your end result – be smart about your second date and invest your time wisely, it will lead to your third date, fourth date and superb intimacy.