Relationship Breakers

Relationship Breakers
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As a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert, it has been my goal to pair my single men and single women in Calgary and Edmonton in hopes that they fall in love and ride off into the sunset.  When my singles call to share that they are falling in love – it is the best feeling!  It is standard procedure that my couple place themselves on hold, so that I can take them out of my active client list.  The worse phone call, is the call from the couple revealing that their relationship didn’t last.  After 24 years of Matchmaking, there can relationship bumps that couples can navigate their way through, I thought I would compose a list about about relationship breakers – these challenges are the ones that end relationships.

  • Neediness – when we fall in love, we all can not get enough of that euphoric feeling that we love in the beginning and you can not get enough of each other.  The relation breaker is when someone is obsessively texting and calling for no good reason at all, maybe just to check in and see if the other is okay.  When someone is working, trying to get in a workout or weekly errands, it can be too much.  There is no need to know where someone is at all times, and question them like it is an interrogation just because you are needing some kind of an approval.
  • Insecurity –  insecurities are when you are constantly having false thoughts about your looks, body or feeling that you are not as attractive as others and needing your significant other to tell you often you are loved and usually it is not enough to stop the arguments that will occur when you both are out socially.
  • Judgement – when couples are communicating, often one person is not really listening, they are judging whether they like or dislike what their significant other is saying and often assumptions are made whether what is being said fits into their life and likes.  Judgement never ends well and often what you judge your significant other for is from your underlying insecurities.  There is nothing attractive about putting someone down for who they are or what they think.
  • Disclosure – I can never stress this enough.  There is no need to go into ex boyfriends or girlfriends, ex husbands or wives, or about people you may have dated or to go on about male or female friends.  NO NEED TO DIVULGE DETAILS, these disclosures will leave images that will haunt a relationship for life, and generally will be brought up in a bad time in one’s relationship, only to add fuel to the problem.
  • Letting Yourself Go – looks do matter!  Have you packed on some serious weight, stopped caring about your hygiene, clothes or personal appearance.  Do you need an image rescue?  If you look dumpy — you’ll feel dumpy and feeling surface into your relationship.
  • Bitterness – usually bitterness is from an unresolved past.  It is never great to suppress feelings, singles are often walking around with pain from their past, hurt turns into anger and bitterness. Being in a relationship with a bitter person is not fun,  your caring and support is often not enough for your partner to heal, they need to do some work around the bitterness and past pain.
  • Victim Role – sometimes you unknowingly cast your self into a role, and in this role you punish and persist in talking about who and what has done you wrong.  This role will result in yet another relationship that has done you wrong.  Loved ones want to to be supportive,  the constant complaining will create a negative outcome.  Relationships take two, it is easy to blame the other and be the victim, to leave this pattern behind – take everything that has happened and see it as how a positive resulted from it.
  • Catty Men or Women – it is never a good idea to put down other people for what they wear, their clothing, their shoes, their choice of accessories, hair or lack of, make up or success.  It is even worse if you start to see the worse in your loved ones friends and family.  Pure and simple, it is bad mouthing – it will make your significant other wonder what you say about them.
  • Boring or Predictable in Bed – if sex become a chore, if it is exactly the same as the last time – TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME ….. If someone lays there or their mind wonders to a shopping list or work, it is transparent.  Your partner wants to feel like they rock your world. Sex matters, the minute someone believes it does not, it will ruin a relationship.
  • The Mom or Dad Syndrome – your partner is an adult, you fell in love with them based on what they brought to the table.  It is tragic when someone accidentally ruins a relationship by caring so much that their significant other ends up feeling like their partner is acting like their parent, not their lover.

I believe that as a Matchmaker, relationships start and end for good reasons.  The trick is to learn from the experience, if you do not — the experience will happen and happen.  It is important to have a long look at was has happened with past relationships and see if there is a repeating relationship breaker.  Single men and single women usually are looking for that love that will last a lifetime, one that their friends envy — no one come into my office sharing that they would like a short term relationship. Looking at your self will lead to growth. Wisdom is powerful in relationships.  Strengthen yourself – Strengthen Relationships.

 

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