Do’s and Don’ts – Matchmaker Rescue 07 Oct 2017
As a Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert, there are experiences that are shared with me from my dear clients, some dating experiences that my singles have gone through can leave me shaking my head in disbelief or giggling because it seems like OH NO! When I hear about some dating experiences that keep repeating over and over – it is time to write about it, in hopes that some single men and some single women in Calgary and Edmonton may get that the Matchmaker Rescue they need.
Let’s start with the Don’ts
- When you are 30, 40, 50 or more — do not allow someone who is 18 years old to give you all your dressing advice. Young people make fun of older adults trying to look like Justin Beiber’s older cousin and mature adults will just think you look ridiculous. It is important to be current, one or two pieces of current clothing is great. No one single and looking for love, should think there is a competition of who wore it better between an 40 some vs a 20 some. The 40 some will lose every time. Dress with quality in mind, classic quality clothes with some pieces of the current fashion will always compliment you.
- Do not let one that you have been goggle stalking your date. Everyone can be curious about their prospective love interest, do NOT let on that you are aware and have studied internet footprint. Your date does NOT need to know that you know they were celebrating their Aunty Betty’s 80th birthday last weekend.
- Do not ever bring up your ex! No one wants to hear about what an awful man or woman they were. It does nothing to enhance your credibility as a possible love interest for them. It is a mood killer! NEVER EVER talk about the ex!
- Do not bust out into the dance moves you used in the 80’s or 90’s…. when you get to know each other better, it is fine to share these moves with your love interest. In the beginning, when someone does not know you very well, these dance moves do nothing for your charisma. Busting out these moves too early will get you to the the idle chit chat around the water cooler with co workers with everyone laughing at your expense.
- Do not get stuck or hung up in those awkward moments when you have nothing to say. 10 seconds of silence on a date will feel like eternity. Silence can happen to the best of us – make light about it and go into a topic that most people will be comfortable about. Talk about something current like movies, sports or current affairs.
- Do not come on too strong. The type A personality, who has attraction for someone will naturally want to take it to the next level sooner that later. When you move too quickly on a relationship, like trying to get them to meet your family or to go away for the weekend when they do not know you at all – will come across as desperate. When people mess with the natural flow of love, it will destroy it. Start with movies, dinners, walks and activities that are safe …. save the intimate activities for when you know each other better.
- Do not pretend to be someone you are not!! We all have that friend who acts like a chameleon and morphs into whatever their date of the week is into. Not realistic – not cool. Honesty is the best policy when dating, you do not want someone to fall in love with someone you truly are not.
Let’s get to the Do’s
- Do take time to primp and pamper yourself before a date. It gives you time to relax and reflect. There is no shame in wanting to look your best, if you dash to a date from a hectic work day, you may come across as your work self – generally not that warm and fuzzy.
- Do order what you want, if a salad is what you truly want & it will be enough to satisfy you – then fine, the opposite sex will see you as more realistic or down to earth if you are not obsessing about your weight in front of them.
- Do work your charm, do pour it on! Charming is great when it is authentic. Looking directly into someone’s eyes, having your eyes show interest and happiness while you are smiling and sharing your laughter and dimples is hot! Dimples, lashes, flirting and flattery goes a long way. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.
- Do on a rare occasion, have a friend call you, if you are on a 1st date and things are not going well. It should not happen often, sometimes you just truly get off on the wrong foot and everyone needs an escape plan. If this is happening often, then I would have a serious talk with yourself in the mirror.
- Do REMEMBER that you are highly dateable, gorgeous, beautiful or handsome inside and out, with an amazing heart and spirit — even if you date is not cool enough to see it
- Do show your interest in your date and make sure they are also feeling your interest.
- Do talk about the next date or the then step. No single man or single woman wants to be left hanging. Clarity is best! Treat someone on a date as you hope they would treat you. Let them know if and when there will be a second date.
- Do know how you are getting home safely.
Dating should be fun, dating should be something you look forward to and not dread. If you are not excited about dating, then it is definitely time to see a Professional Matchmaker so that they can prescreen your dates. Time is valuable, you are valuable — love is valuable. Dating should not be painful, if dating is something that does not bring you joy, talk to a matchmaker. Your date truly feels the vibe you are putting out there! Single men and single women of Calgary – your friends are NOT experts in dating, they often just give you the information they think you want to hear and that is not always what is best for you. If you invest your time into bad dates, you will get frustrated and stop dating. Months later you will be interested in starting to date again and you will probably set out to have the same results.