Dating Advice About Relationship Myths 18 Oct 2017
When it comes to finding love for singles, as a Professional Matchmaker giving dating advice to singles over 30, singles over 40 and singles over 50 – what I have noticed is that sometimes we are our own worse enemy in sabotaging ourselves in finding the love we want. We have self talk that works against us and often it is negative. Negativity, where does it come from? Your Mom passed it down and she learned it from her Mom, your group of friends and champions will often want to side with you and so they stand behind your negative thinking because they want to support you and often just end up reinforcing your fears and negativity. Negativity is a habit that is formed and as you continue feeding your negativity, it ends up becoming your “go to ” facts that are the farthest thing from the truth. When you are single looking for someone special, you feel vulnerable, so you will state your fear like it is a fact. It is your protection – it is your reason you do not find love, your reason why you do not get out there to finding someone special. Negative expectation is your way of trying to predict your future. I thought it would be a great place to start giving dating advice about how to recognize the myths. The first step to changing is acknowledgement, once you catch yourself buying into a negative myth, you can at least STOP and cancel, clear and delete that message to yourself. It is that simple. Acknowledge the negative myth and then correct it by saying that you cancel, clear and delete that thought…your subconscious will not store it into your mind to influence your action’s and feelings and then you can work on replacing a negative myth with a positive action.
These are some negative myths that singles over 30, singles over 40 and singles over 50 use:
- All the good men or all the good women are taken already. Myth buster – life and love is always changing and evolving. with the divorce rate what it is, not to mention the couples in relationships ending their relationships or people becoming widowed – there are always available singles to meet. You are a good single, you exist – there are other great singles out there always.
- I am too old to meet someone special. Myth buster – unless you are over 100 years old and your health is failing you, you are never too old to meet someone.
- I am not pretty enough, handsome enough to attract the kind of man or woman I want. Myth buster – Singles are hard of themselves – never forget that singles are attracted to your energy, confidence, smile eyes, femininity, masculinity, personality, strength, intelligence and looks. You have all of these qualities. Then there are singles who are drop dead gorgeous or handsome and they do not know how to use it to their benefit.
- All single men want is sex. Myth buster – yes, they do want sex – but that does not mean they do not want romance as well.
- All women are gold diggers and are only looking at me with dollar signs in their eyes, the women I am attracted to do not notice me because of my lack of power and or wealth. Myth buster – women in our society have autonomy, they have their own education and careers and financial independence.
- I am too picky. Myth buster – You are not too picky, you are looking for someone you will be compatible with, and that is usually a close reflection to you. Similar looks and success, health, lifestyle and accomplishments.
- Men are intimidated by successful and strong independent women. Myth buster – say that out loud and ask your self if that is true. Singles want it all…… beauty, brains, sexual chemistry, attraction and success.
- Men like weak women, women they can control. Myth Buster – never confuse being vulnerable with being weak. In order to fall in love and really get to know someone you need to show your self and share your vulnerable side.
Negative myths are just words that are used in a moment of being vulnerable. Remember everyone was single before they became a couple. My dating advice to singles over 30, singles over 40 and singles over 50 is to take the time to know what your assets are that you have to bring into a relationship, become friendly with the words “cancel, clear and delete” when a self sabotaging thought enters your mind and TRUST. Trust that your perfect match is somewhere out there for you to find. If you really want to find love, you will find a way….. If you do not – you will find excuses or in this case….. myths. A Professional Matchmaker is there so you do NOT get caught up in myths and to motivate you to stay positive in your journey to love.